Tags
Boys, boys will be boys, Feminism, marriage, Men, relationships
I often forget that I married a man, who at some point was a boy. (Brilliant aren’t I, for figuring that one out all on my own!!) And we all know too well, what little boys can be like. Little boys are playful, silly, rough and tough, say stupid things and do stupid things (at least according to little girls) and of course, get into mischief.
Well, guess what? Men are like that too!
You see, when boys grow up and turn into men, these characteristics don’t fully disappear. I am reminded of this when my husband says or does things that don’t make sense to me and leave me shaking my head. (Although, I think if I were a man, these things would make sense! My best friend’s husband seems to understand my husband perfectly at these times!!) Being a typical woman, I would see this as an indication (especially if it happened quite frequently) that my husband needed to “grow up”, “mature more” or “be / act more serious”. Yet, the irony is that my husband IS like this the majority of the time. He is mature, grown up and serious about his future — that’s why I married him!!
So why do I forget that my husband is a man, and within each man there resides a little boy who will make himself known from time to time? I think perhaps this may have to do with the culture we live in today. We live in a culture (at least in North America and Europe), that is more female oriented than ever before. We want men to be men (obviously!) but with a female slant to them. Physically this means soft hands, nice skin, no body hair, and emotionally this means men are expected to be in-tune with their feminine /emotional side or even act / converse on the same level that women do. While some men are this way naturally, most aren’t. Should we push the latter to be more like the former? (By the way, cultural ideologies take place subtly overtime — it’s not as though you are being forced at gun point to think a certain way!)
Let me be clear about one thing also. As a moderate feminist myself, this cultural shift is a good thing! Sixty years ago women were seen as inferior to men and didn’t even have the same basic rights as them (e.g. women weren’t allowed to vote). We’ve come a long way since that time, but instead of stopping at the point of equality, did we go too far in the opposite direction? Did we make this a female driven society, where men nowadays are on the fringes?? I wonder.
All I know is this. I married a man. And no matter how old this man (a.k.a. my husband) gets, he will always remain a 10-year-old boy in his heart! Instead of trying to make him act more like a mature person at these times, perhaps I should just let him be. Men are still boys, and boys will always be boys.
Heather said:
I’d like to add that “women will be women,” and our husbands/boyfriends understanding that sometimes we cry, sometimes we overreact, sometimes we’re emotional, AND THAT IS OKAY would rock.
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
It is OKAY! That was actually going to be my next post! 😉
Thanks for commenting! 🙂
mimosacafebakery said:
This made me laugh a bit as I read it. Particularly the part where your husband and the other gentleman seemed to totally get each other, you you can only shake your head. This is so true! At times i feel the same way when my boyfriend and his friends do stuff that is clearly crazy, but they think it’s fine.
As for things seeming to turn more in favor of women, I suppose in a way this is true. One such example could possibly be the day to day niceties they might be asked to endure. In some cases it is necessary, but at times it can go a bit far, in that it can cause them to go against every natural impulse they have. Not good.
At the end of the day, a man is a man, and I fully enjoy that. However maddening they can be at times.
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
I know…it must be a secret code–doubly frustrating! Although I bet that us women have the same kind of mutual understanding too…..that was actally going to be my next post! 😀
brokenresolutions said:
I let my husband read this and he said “finally… a woman who finally gets it!!” 🙂
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Thanks! 🙂 I guess I have to give my husband credit for pointing this out to me a while ago! lol
Jean Brown said:
My husband is a total guy’s guy, too. He loves hockey, beer, hates holding my purse when I ask him to, etc. Sometimes I wish he was a little more gushy romantic but really, I love that he’s a MAN! haha And it works well that way–I feel that we can really complement one another because we are so different in those girl-boy ways!
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
For sure! 😀 The funny thing is that I never realized how much of a “man’s man” I married, until much later in our relationship…so it definitely came as a surprise! I still like the gushy romantic side though…lol
Kimberley said:
Nice blog. You are right. They never outgrow the boy within. Over time, you may learn to giggle a little at the ridiculousness of it all. Until then, just smile and nod.
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Smile and nodding is definitely what I find myself doing of late…:D
goodbyereality411 said:
This was funny and so true.
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Glad to hear that I’m not the only one who thinks this way. 🙂
Zoe said:
ThiS is a great post and advice i needed to hear. Hubby is the fun parent, i am the responsible one. It gets old. Maybe i’ll try being a 10 year old girl again and we’ll all be happier!
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Thanks Zoe for commenting! I need to remind myself of this post too sometimes!! Inside a lot of grown up women and men (particularly men), there still resides a 10 year old! 😀