Do you ever feel sometimes that there are some couples who have it “easy” in their relationships, while others are forever struggling? (I know most couples fall somewhere in-between, but I’m going to focus on the two extremes for this post.) I always thought that the ones who had it easy were the ones were “made” for each other, precisely because they had it so easy! (Circular reasoning I know!) This then led me to conclude that the couples who were struggling in their relationship, were not meant to be together. If they were, they wouldn’t be struggling so much, now would they?
But love and marriage aren’t always logical pursuits. Sometimes the heart says or feels one thing, but the mind says another. Do we listen to our mind or do we listen to our heart? The obvious answer is our heart. But what if we follow our heart, and things don’t work as we thought? Or we follow our heart and things end up being more difficult than we imagined? An observer at this point might say that following our heart was clearly a mistake–look, they are fighting so much!
But don’t be so quick to judge.
One of my favourite movies is The Notebook, and in it there is this scene between the two main characters / lovers (Noah and Allie), that although dramatic, represents what love can be like for some couples. Click here to watch it. (P.S. To truly appreciate this scene, you need to watch the entire movie so you can understand where these characters are coming from.)
Now some of you may see this scene and think to yourself, no way!! Relationships like that only work in the movies, not in real life. A relationship like this would surely never last. But I am not so sure. If two people really love each other and want what’s best for each other (a crucial quality that some unhealthy relationships do not possess), they will still screw up from time to time. It’s inevitable. The couple may butt heads, bicker, get on each other’s nerves and drive each other crazy…more often than not! Yet, they still want to be with each other and in some weird way, are meant to be together. It won’t be easy; in fact it’s not gonna be easy at all! But then again…where did we get the idea that love is easy or should be easy??