I’ve often heard moms, in particular stay-at-home moms, mention that they aren’t being appreciated enough by their spouses. I’ve also heard countless responses (and read lots of articles) that talk about the importance of being appreciated and what husbands / kids can do to show appreciation for all the things these moms do.
This same advice can be applied in marriage. Husbands and wives should be thankful and appreciative of their spouse—more often. I added the more often part because I bet that most of you reading this are already appreciative of your spouse, but perhaps there’s also room for improvement. Here’s what I mean.
I’ll admit that I’m not always appreciative of my husband–at least not as much as I could be. For instance, (1) there are days when I tell my husband how much I appreciate him… These are our Leave It To Beaver moments! (2) There are days when I appreciate the things my husband does to make my life easier…but I just don’t tell him that. I’m not sure why. I figure he already knows how I feel anyways. (3) There are days when my husband’s less than desirable qualities overshadow his desirable qualities and I am clearly not appreciative of anything at that moment.
I know I should be doing more of #1! But I don’t. Why? Well, the reasons vary. I may be tired. I may be in a bad mood myself. My husband may be in a bad mood. We may have gotten into an argument. I may just not feel like it because of all of the aforementioned reasons. In other words, I’m human; I act less than an ideal at times. Not a cop-out, just a fact.
But here’s the thing to keep in mind. Everyone needs to feel appreciated. In marriage, this is so, so very important. When one spouse feels under-appreciated, things go awry. And the crazy part is, you may not even realize this until they tell you so. I didn’t even realize this until my husband and I have both alluded to the fact that we didn’t feel appreciated by the other for one reason or another. Of course at this point the listener goes on damage control and tells the speaker that they are in fact appreciated… but I don’t like the idea of responding after-the-fact to things. Like in all areas of my life, I’d rather be proactive (or at least I do my best to be proactive). And proactive means telling my husband how appreciative I am of him so he doesn’t think otherwise (and vice versa). Citing examples of what specifically he does — the little things or the big things — is even better. (It shows I’m not just parroting empty marriage advice.) It’s funny too, to see my husband’s reaction when I do tell him how much I appreciate him, because it catches him off guard at first but then he appreciates me for saying it. It’s a nice feeling. 🙂
Be proactive in your marriage too! Be appreciative of your spouse. Better yet, tell them how much you appreciate them. Specifically cite examples. I really appreciate when you do _____, or even, Thanks for doing _____. I really appreciate it! By doing so, you ensure you have a spouse who feels appreciated and who more than likely, will reveal their appreciation of you in return. And remember, an appreciated spouse always makes for a happier spouse! 🙂
V said:
very true. it is very important to appreciate your spouse. it doesn’t take much to say thanks or I appreciate you- but it goes a long way. It can bring closeness to a couple and a renewed faith in your love 🙂
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Fully agree–it does bring closeness and a renewal in your love. And you’re right, it doesn’t take much to say thank you or I appreciate you, but there are tons of benefits for doing so. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Tasmin Skye said:
You always hit it on the head! Thanks for the reminder… I probably need to do some more appreciating, too!
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Thanks! lol—don’t we all! 😉
aweighwithme said:
Such good advice! And a great reminder… thanks for sharing. 🙂
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Glad you liked this post. 🙂
Mimosa Cafe said:
A lot of couples over here seem to forget to do this with their spouses. Single or married, you should let the person you love know you’re thankful for the things they do for you. I try not to forget it, but I’m glad you had this reminder up here in case I did. ^^
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Exactly! I think we all forget at times, including me, so sometimes a reminder helps!
persnicketypioneer said:
Funny how something that is seemingly so simple can make all the difference in a marriage. Thanks for reminding me how important it is to show appreciation to our spouses. Even on our bad days!
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
I know…! You are welcome! 🙂 And thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment!
Courtni said:
I just found your blog (nothing like being a year behind), but I love it! This post especially 🙂 I look forward to reading more!
Things You Realize After You Get Married said:
Thanks for the kind words! 🙂