Which type of couple are you? Are you the couple who is happily floating along in their relationship? The couple who rarely disagrees and rarely argues. Perhaps you are the couple who is swimming against the current all the time. The couple who finds disagreements and arguments a way of life. Or perhaps, you are the couple who falls somewhere in-between. Most of the time you are happily floating along together, but there are still other times when you struggle against a strong current that threatens to pull you under.
Given the comments and emails I’ve received on his blog, I would say there are couples that fall in all three categories. I’m not sure what the spread is like, but I assume that the majority of couples fall in the first group, while a few fall in the latter two groups. (Vote below to see the results.)
My husband and I used to be in the first group. Now I would say we fall in the third group. Am I reluctant to admit that I fall in the third group? Initially yes. Like most other newlyweds out there, I’d rather relay how great my marriage is all the time more than anything else. However, falling in the third group has turned out to have its own advantages. As you probably already know, I am a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason. Similarly, everything happens for a reason in your marriage, whether or not you understand what the reasons are. I’ll admit that the challenges my husband and I faced initially worried me–especially at the time they were happening. I remembered wondering, “uh, not again” or “why is this so difficult at times?” or “why can’t we be like those couples who seem to get along flawlessly?” or “what is wrong with us!” etc.
But after moving past these challenges, here’s what I have come to realize:
- These challenges have helped me gain clarity and insight on certain issues, where otherwise I wouldn’t have. (Experience does make a difference!)
- These challenges have taught me things about myself, my husband and our relationship that I was completely oblivious of before.
- These challenges have taught me what the words for better and for worse really entail.
- These challenges have made us stronger as a couple. (It’s true what they say–what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.)
- These challenges have allowed me to differentiate this blog from other marriage blogs– to make it a realistic yet positive blog (yes, those two words can go together) about marriage, and to write posts that also provide a source of comfort, clarity and perseverance for those who are going through challenging times in their own relationship because I know what it can be like.
As I’ve mentioned before, I write about the ups, downs as well as in-betweens of marriage. To me, marriage is wonderful, but can also be challenging and come with a steep learning curve. Just because you experience more challenges than wonderful moments sometimes, is not a sign that you and your spouse are not meant to be together (that seems to be the conclusion that most people jump to). It could however be a sign that there are some things you need to work on and improve in your marriage. In other words, your marriage may be in need a chiropractic adjustment! Nothing wrong with that; everyone needs an adjustment now and then! 🙂 And there are lots of great resources online and offline that can help you out in that respect, so make use of them!
Finally, remember this:Even great marriages have terrible years, so bad that you’re just tempted to give up. But don’t. Hold on. There will come a time when you’ll look back on this moment as the prelude to something fuller and richer than you’ve ever experienced. (From the movie “Hope Springs”)
&A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go out and buy a new house, you change the light bulb. (Found on “I Love My Husband’s” Facebook page. Link on my Facebook page)
Come to think of it, my husband and I, along with other engaged couples were told something similar during our marriage preparation course. Hmmm…
**Update: I recently wrote an article entitled, 5 Signs Your Marriage Needs A Chiropractic Adjustment, which relates perfectly to this post. The article is also on my Facebook page.**