Do you remember your dating days? When you were getting to know your spouse? Things seemed perfect. Your spouse seemed perfect to you and you seemed perfect to them. So what happened now that you are married? Why don’t things seem so perfect all the time anymore…?
The reason for this may be due in part to several things. For one thing, I don’t think that your spouse got less perfect over the years, but rather your perception of them has changed slightly over the years (remember those rose-coloured glasses…). Secondly, life gets in the way. When I say “life”, I mean work, finances, house responsibilities, kids etc. Basically, things that can’t be avoided, that take a toll on your relationship and that were never really present during those dating days. Together, these two things can create situations which lead certain (not all) couples to worry and think the following – my spouse is not so perfect. This is often followed by the typical thought, perhaps my spouse is not the person I thought I married…
The irony is though, that these two thoughts aren’t necessarily bad. For example, the longer I am married to my husband, the more I realize how not perfect he is. And the longer he stays married to me, the more he realizes how not perfect I am. (I take issue with this second realization, but anyways! 🙂 ) I’ll be honest. This wasn’t an easy thought to come to terms with. But I think its something that’s part of the learning curve that happens as a marriage matures. Furthermore, this thought doesn’t translate into me loving my husband any less or vice versa. On the contrary, true love comes from being aware of the weaknesses and flaws your spouse has, and loving them regardless; loving them in spite of their imperfections! Because technically speaking, there really is no such thing as a “perfect spouse”.