I have a confession to make. My husband and I disagree, argue, debate and fight. (For simplicity sake, I am going to refer to it all as… fighting!)
Are you shocked? Relieved? Or not surprised at all? The reaction you have depends on several things. It depends on how your marriage functions, it depends on your perception of me and my marriage with my husband, and lastly it depends on your perception of marriage in general. Consider this. If you do not really fight with your spouse, you may be shocked at my statement — what’s wrong with the marriage you may wonder? If you do fight with your spouse, you may be relieved to hear this — thank God there are other spouses who fight too! Then again, regardless of whether or not you fight with your spouse, if you feel that all married couples fight from time to time, then you won’t be surprised at all by my statement — that’s marriage for you! What else is new!
Let me share my situation with you. I love my husband dearly, but there are certain things I just do not agree with him on. Similarly, my husband loves me dearly, but he does not agree with me on certain things either. My husband and I both also happen to be strong-headed individuals who can be very set in our ways. Now, the majority of the time we get along splendidly, but on occasion up crops an issue that we don’t see eye to eye on and it doesn’t take long for observers to realize we have a difference in opinion because we openly contest each other.
I sometimes wondered though during these moments what other people thought of us and of our marriage. Did they think we were ill-suited for each other? Did they think there was something wrong with us because we didn’t get along so perfectly all the time? My questions were endless. So, I voiced my concerns to an older married couple whose marriage I admire and that has served the test of time, and here’s what they said to me. “There is nothing wrong with fighting. If anything, it shows that you and your husband are communicating with each other. If you two didn’t fight, we’d be concerned…”
So yeah, my husband and I disagree, argue, debate and fight, and maybe that ain’t such a bad thing after all! Besides, it leads to great make-up sex after, right? 😀