This may come as a surprise to some people, especially since we’re living in the 21st century and not back in 1950! Gone are the days when women stayed at home and did all the cooking, cleaning and taking care of children, while the men worked. Gone even are they days, when women too worked outside the home, and still had to come home and do all the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children (a.k.a. the “second shift”). In today’s marriages, both spouses work outside the home and both help out inside the home equally, right?
Well… not always.
Sometimes things still may be unequal… For instance, in my relationship, there are days when both my husband and I can give 50% each and can give each other a pat on the back for a job well-done! However, there are other days when I need to put forth 80% in our relationship, because my husband can only give 20%. Still there are other days when I can only give 5% and my husband has to chip in 95%. Finally, there are days when each of us can give a whopping 0%!! And you know what? It’s OK!
You see, if you view marriage as a 50-50 split straight down the middle, then you will be sorely disappointed and resentful when you inevitably have to do more than 50%. (Trust me, this will happen!) But if you remember that you married an honest, decent, good person, then you realize that this person is always contributing and giving you their “best” in the relationship. Their “best” however will vary from to time — it could be 100%, 75%, 50%, 25%, 10% or even 0%….Now, it may be tempting to get upset when your spouse’s contribution dips below 50% (particularly if it happens a lot), but instead consider this. How many times were you only able to give 5o% or less in your marriage, while your spouse had to make up for the rest???