This is something I should have realized a long time ago…or at least should have put into practice a long time ago. You see, I have this pesky habit. When I’m right, I like the other party (be it my mom, dad, sister, best friend and sometimes even my husband) to know that I am right.
Perhaps this habit developed as some sort of Darwinian strategy. I grew up in a family in which everyone fought to be right (and heard)! It’s kinda like survival of the fittest, except in this case it was survival of the loudest, which gave way to survival of the right-est!
Well, this pesky habit is now creeping into my relationship with my husband. In the beginning, it wasn’t there. In the beginning, if I was right about something I was content with knowing that myself. But now Mrs. Hyde has come a knockin’! Now that my husband and I are so familiar and comfortable with each other, I notice that I am starting to behave like I did with my family growing up. In other words, I am often not content until my husband knows that I am right too….Why? Perhaps because it feels good at that instant. Who wouldn’t like to be given kudos for being right?
But this feeling is always short-lived. Further, it also leaves me wondering:
- Was there really a need to tell my husband he was wrong?
- Was there really a need to have him recognize that I was right?
If you asked me these two questions at the time, I would say yesssss! …..BUT, the answers are no and no. I should not feel the need to remind my husband that I was right and that he was wrong. (Even if you do this in a nice way (like I do), it still doesn’t make it okay!) By doing this, I only make him feel worse and why would I want to do that to someone I love?
So, I am going to try my best to stop this habit, and take heed of secret #45 from this article and SHUT UP, whenever I am right! 😉