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Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. The things she has had to go through in her life, and how she has come out of it is truly admirable. She is a strong woman with a heart of gold. There are certain qualities in her that I one day hope to possess (and some that I already have)….BUT (and I’m sure I’m not alone on this) there are also certain qualities my mom possesses, certain things she says and does that I do not want to replicate. Actually, these were things I swore to myself that I would never think, say or do when I got married, or had children.
Well…so much for oaths, because I failed on one of those counts and I’m pretty sure it’ll be no different when I have children! You see, I am already starting to think, say and do those very things I have tried so hard to avoid! Notice I said starting — the transformation is just in the beginning stages and will probably take years to complete!
The most annoying part though? That my husband pointed this out to me before I realized it myself!! My initial reaction when he told me? I quote, Take it back! I am NOT my mother!
However….
After mulling over this comment a few days later, I realized that my husband was right; I was acting like my mom! (By the way, both of these are things that I had difficulty admitting!…)
The funny thing though in all of this, is that I don’t really know how not to be my mom. After all, this is the woman who gave birth to me and raised me (still raises me). Her influence on me is significant…. So, of course I am like her. Of course, I will resemble and take after her in some shape or form...it’s inevitable! I will become my mom! (There is actually a fabulous blog dedicated to this very premise.)
Given this realization then, there are some things that will likely follow:
- a good sob session about this reality
- acceptance of this reality …(notice that this comes after sobbing!)
- pros and cons of this reality …(i.e. pros > cons)
- admittance to my husband that he was right about this reality
- a revelation to my husband about thoughts, words and actions that are likely to occur in the future…
After all of this, I think I’m going to need some chocolate. Chocolate makes everything seem so much better, don’t you think? 😛
P.S. Thanks Mom for being cool with this post! 🙂
P.S.S. Thank you I’ve become my parents for motivating me with your awesome blog to finally write this post! 😀
Things You Realize After You Get Married 
My husband hasn’t pointed it out to me yet, but I have been realizing this same thing more and more every day ever since I got married.
Interesting how we only realize this after we get married! 😀
I have known this…not only do I LOOK like her, but I act like her, and definitely have the same damn STUBBORNESS as her. I try to change this (but fail majorly each time), but if I do, then I am definitely in trouble for I wouldn’t be who I am today. But when my husband points it out. That is drawing the line…hehe :0) But I am like my mother and he is like his father. You wouldn’t want to put these two in the same room (may my FIL rest in peace) but somehow my husband and I make it work very well. :0) THANK GOD!!! :0)
haha…:D That is good that you and your husband both get along well although you are like your parents! …I think personality wise, my husband is a mix of both of his parents, with slight leanings towards his mom!
Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂
Well, I guess you know by now how I feel about the subject! You’ve done a nice job of pointing out that booming our parents isn’t ALL bad. Clearly you love and respect your mom and you’ll happily take the good stuff.
Interesting that you mentioned your husband’s recognition of your transformation. Equally frightening can be watching a spouse turn into one’s in-law!
Thanks so much or the shout out. I’m honored to be mentioned on this great blog!
Equally frightening can be watching a spouse turn into one’s in-law! <—–That's what my husband says, but of course he sugar-coats his words! 😉
There are only a few things that scare me in life. One is to be too much like my mother. She is a good person at heart, but I think it would drive me nuts if I became completely like her. >.< Heaven help me.
Thanks for commenting! Yeah I am hoping I pick up a few things from my mom, just not everything! 😀
Oh, girl. I’m in therapy about this one…seriously! I think I’m turning into the worst of both my mom AND dad…and my mom would NOT be cool about my blogging about it – so I’m venting here lol!
Thanks for commenting! It’ll be our secret! 😉
I think a lot of people (particularly girls) have that complex. They admire their moms and want to take after them in certain things, but at the same time don’t want to be exactly like their moms in everything! (Can substitute dad or parents in place of moms here)
I completely understand about this. I’m not even married yet and I’m already turning into my mom. And for the most part, that’s ok. But there are a few things I was hoping to avoid.
I’m gonna go have some chocolate now, too.
Chocolate does make things more bearable…except when you step on the scale a few days later and wonder why it’s pointing more to the right! 😀
Thanks for commenting!
Yes, I’ve become like my mom too and even write the same topic few months ago. At first, I denied, but it become so obvious I realized it myself. When I was still single, i can’t understand mom and now that I’m married and have my own kids finally I understand her clearly and even can relate to it. I guess we are not alone on this matter but I always remember that it’s not bad to modify some awful character my mom has like nagging. Anyhow, my mom/our mom is great so it’s not really bad to be like them. 🙂 Nice post once again!
I agree! Take the good characteristics, and the tweak / modify the bad characteristics! ….I think being in a similar situation makes you understand your mom so much better!
Thanks for commenting! 🙂
Love your blog! I am seven years into marriage, and I agree that it is a journey with twists, turns and detours. I too see myself morphing into my mom.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! From the response I’ve gotten on this post, I can see that a lot of women / wives are replicas of their own mothers!
I’ve realized that any man will drive even the sanest woman to shrill and nag. And only a smart man will stay quiet and keep his mouth shut whenever that happens.
Well let’s just say that after that little episode, my husband knows it’s best not to liken me to my mom–particulary when it comes to a negative trait! :0