A while ago, I had done a post titled Forgive, Forgive, Forgive! (see Realization #7) on the importance of forgiveness in marriage. This post is related to that, but focuses on the flip side: asking for forgiveness.
Is it easier to forgive someone or to ask for forgiveness? The first option does seem a lot easier. Who wouldn’t want to be able to have that slight upper hand and decide whether to forgive their spouse or not? (By the way, it’s not a good thing to take too much pleasure in this role!) Then again, depending on the severity or circumstances of the situation, forgiving your spouse can be quite tough!
The second option though of asking for forgiveness (or even saying sorry) is much harder. I have no problem saying sorry to my dog (or even cat) if I’ve done something to hurt them, probably because I don’t have to worry if I’m forgiven or not. The great thing about pets is that they don’t hold grudges. One minute they may be upset with you, but the next moment they’re your best friend all over again, and you’re wondering if that prior moment even took place. But people don’t function like pets, and we’re well aware of that. If they did, there wouldn’t be need for a post on forgiveness; it would be a done deal!
Now of course, I don’t have to ask my husband for forgiveness. He doesn’t dwell on things. If something negative happens between the two of us, he’s usually forgotten about it a few hours later. (Now that I think about it, he is kinda like a dog–and I mean that in a positive way!!! See above paragraph). Yet… I still feel the need to ask for his forgiveness…whether it is several hours later, the next day or sometimes even a week later!
To me, there is something humbling about asking for forgiveness. First of all, it means admitting that I have done something wrong. That’s hard to do, especially since I have had to make this admission many times over! (Remember, I have yet to master the art of fighting!) But it also takes me down a notch. I realize that I have said or done something to hurt my husband, and my admission of it to him (and even myself by having to verbalize it), shows that I want to make amends. I want to make things right again. I want to try again for the sake of our relationship. Additionally, my husband’s willingness to not hold a grudge, to not gloat over my apology, to look past this, and give me the BEST hug ever after all is said and done, makes this entire moment…priceless! 🙂