Both men and women have the tendency to complain about their spouses. Some of the women I talk to (fyi–I associate more with women than with men, and this post is a reflection of those experiences), tend to complain about their husbands. The complaints vary, but here are some typical things I hear:
- he doesn’t help out around the house
- he expects me to cook for him all the time
- he doesn’t listen to me
- he doesn’t spend enough time with me…Etc
Often times, these words are uttered by frustrated wives. I don’t think they really mean to complain. I think they are just very frustrated about a particular issue and are venting at that particular point in time. I’m not going to go into detail about the conversation that ensues, but rather would like to talk about the thought that frequently enters my mind during these conversations.
….That I have it pretty damn good!
Now, this may sound like a totally egotistical and an inappropriate thing to be thinking at the time. And it is!!….Which is why it stays a thought and is not something I say out loud! But in a way, it’s also a good thought to have, at least in terms of your own spouse and marriage! Here’s why:
If you remember Realization #10: The 80: 20 Rule, I talked about the fact that some spouses focus on the 20% they don’t get from their spouse, instead of the 80% they do get. By thinking, I have it pretty damn good, for one split second I am focusing on that 80% I do have and am oblivious of the 20% I don’t have….I’m not thinking of how my husband leaves the dishes piled up in the sink like a Jenga game (yes, the kitchen sink is still our battlefield!), or how he bothers me just because he can (apparently it’s a tough skill to acquire, but once acquired it comes with a lifetime guarantee!), instead I’m thinking, wow… I have it pretty damn good! My husband helps out around the house, he cooks for me, he listens to me and he wants to spend time with me! I’m thinking of all the things he IS, and not what he isn’t.
And here’s the beauty in thinking this way. This little thought creates a snowball effect of all the other good things about my husband that I sometimes forget or take for granted, like the fact that he will spend 45 minutes helping me straighten my Diana Ross type hair because I suck at doing it myself! (This may sound trivial, but if any of you have hair like this and have tried straightening it, you know it isn’t!)………..So yeah, now that I think about it, I do have it pretty damn good!! 😀
Do you have it pretty damn good in your relationship too?