In my last post, I talked about the overabundance of marriage advice that exists today (both offline and online), and the difficulty in applying it. Today’s post continues on the subject of marriage advice, but focuses on the source of that marriage advice.
I don’t know about you, but I have noticed that ever since I got married, there are plenty of people who are more than willing to offer me a few words of wisdom about marriage and married life. (I use the word wisdom loosely here!) Sometimes these words of wisdom are solicited (Me: What should I do in this situation? Other Person: You should do x, y, and z!); while other times these words of wisdom are unsolicited (Me: Things are great in my relationship! Other Person: You should consider doing x, y, and z!)
Now, for obvious reasons, I am pretty selective in whom I ask for advice. I usually ask people whose relationships I admire, or who I think have something beneficial to say. But, when I get advice from people whose relationships I don’t necessarily want to replicate, or whose advice I don’t feel will work for me, I ignore it (politely). In these instances, I honestly don’t believe that doing x, y, and z is such a good idea for my relationship. This is also because sometimes I don’t believe that x, y, and z is such a good idea for their relationship, but that’s not for me to decide! (After all, all marriages or relationships are unique. What works for one, doesn’t necessarily work for another—a great topic for another post!)
So… whenever a person gives you advice (either the solicited or unsolicited kind), be aware of the source of this advice. Who is saying it to you? Are they a person who has something beneficial to say? Is there relationship one you want to mimic, or one that you can learn from? If not, then ignore the advice, because let’s face it… sometimes another person’s x, y, and z really does not need to be your x, y, and z too!