Sometimes in marriage (or any relationship for that matter), we need to agree to disagree. We need to accept (often reluctantly or begrudgingly), that our spouse will never feel the same way we do about X, Y or Z! …..No matter how hard we try!
There are things that my husband and I just do not see eye-to-eye on, and no amount of arguing, debating and “proof” can convince us to change teams, at least not yet!! (…remember Realization #15: Your Spouse Isn’t Going To Change…Really!)… Sometimes in the middle of an intense discussion about an issue we don’t see eye-to-eye on, we too forget Realization #15! As a result, during these discussions, there are several (sometimes comical, if we had an audience present!) outcomes that end up happening:
- we are so confident in our own beliefs, that nothing can convince us otherwise (…nope! This is what I believe and that’s that!)
- we are so confident in our own beliefs, that we don’t understand why the other person doesn’t agree with us (…how can you not see it my way??)
- we are so confident in our own beliefs, that we get agitated when the other person doesn’t see our side (…I can’t believe you don’t see it the way I do!!)
- we are so confident in our own beliefs, that we are convinced the other person is wrong in theirs (…you can believe what you want to believe, but I still know I am right!)
- we are so confident in our own beliefs, that we give up trying to discuss it and end up back at square one (…o never mind, just forget it! …**stomps away**)
But perhaps, there is another, better outcome that could and should be added to this list. Perhaps it should be that:
- we are so confident in our own beliefs, and realize that the other person is very confident in their own beliefs too (this realization should be fairly obvious after a few intense discussions about the SAME subject!), and accept that the other person may not agree with us regardless of how persuasive our arguments are (…I don’t think we’re going to agree on this issue, so let’s just agree to disagree…**smile, hug and kiss**)
Again, this logic can apply to any people we don’t see eye to eye with. But I think it’s particularly important when it comes to our spouse. We knew that our spouse was different from us on certain things when we were dating them. Yet, we embraced these differences in the dating stage….in marriage it’s even more crucial that we continue to do the same.