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Sometimes couples marry each other with the  intention of (secretly) changing each other. The belief being that marriage will change their significant other for the better. The things they don’t like in their spouse will disappear once they say their I Do’s.


  • A messy spouse will become a neat spouse after marriage.
  • A spouse who likes to smoke will give it up after marriage.
  • A spouse who likes to go out a lot will go out less after marriage.
  • A spouse who likes to indulge in a few too many glasses of wine, will give that up after marriage.
  • A spouse who doesn’t do any work around the house will pitch in after marriage.

…The list is endless and varies depending on the couple involved.

But those who have been married a long time (and perhaps even those who are recently married like myself), can tell you from experience that things don’t pan out as you’d think. First of all, while change is possible in marriage, it will take time and must come from within (a discussion I will leave for another post)!

Secondly, change is not possible for every thing we don’t like about our spouses’ ways and habits. There are some things we will have to accept, deal with or just plain tolerate…because our spouse isn’t going to change…really! (I know it might be hard to digest this thought and even the next thought that follows it….)….. In fact, over the years the opposite can happen. Our spouse becomes more set in their ways after marriage! 😀