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I shouldn’t really call this post a “realization”, because I am still undecided on it. This is my dilemma.

People generally cry when they are sad. Some people also cry when they are happy (although I am not one of them). Finally some people (and I am going to assume mostly girls), also cry when they are upset. This post looks at this last scenario: crying when upset.

During a fight with my husband, particularly an intense one, my tear ducts open and the tears start a-flowin’! If the fight is over something really important, increase the tear flow by 10!

At times like these I also start to wonder. Is all this crying (which I can’t seem to control) good or bad? Here’s what I think:

1) Tears are a GOOD thing when fighting with your spouse because:

  • tears make your spouse feel guilty for making you cry in the first place (ladies, have you ever seen your husband’s reaction when you start to cry. Mine looks like he wants to run in the opposite direction!)
  • tears get you want you want because your puffy eyes, runny nose and tear-streaked face are hard to say “no” too (plus remember your spouse is probably already feeling guilty at this point, and wants to make you feel better so he feels better too!)
  • tears usually put out the fire on a heated argument, because let’s face it, who can yell (or be angry) with someone who has puffy eyes, a runny nose and a tear-streaked face!

However….

2) Tears are a BAD thing when fighting with your spouse because:

  • tears can make you seem weak in front of your spouse (particularly for us ladies, tears are yet another way to confirm the stereotype that we are the weaker sex)
  • tears make you look weak in front of your spouse (see above description of a tear-streaked face)
  • tears make you seem childish (every time I start to cry, I feel like I am back in the kindergarten all over again, crying because a mean little boy took my favourite toy away from me. The difference now is that instead of toys, we’re talking about bigger serious issues like money, chores, kids or in-laws and the mean little boy is my husband!)
  • tears make you feel guilty (particularly if you have a conscience and are using your tears as a secret weapon to make your spouse feel guilty, or to get what you want)

While I don’t intentionally cry to make my husband feel guilty or get what I want, I do tend to cry very easily. Could be because I am a girl. Could be because I am an emotional person. Could be because I am just me. Whatever it is, I have come to terms with the fact that I have an overabundance of tears that will continue to flow for years to come.

So what’s the verdict then? Are tears a good thing or a bad thing? …….I’m not sure. Maybe I should check with my husband on this one! 😀

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