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The most beautiful phrase I remember hearing over and over during my wedding ceremony, was the phrase “two becoming one”. This phrase comes from the bible verse that reads, “…Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his
wife, and the two shall become one flesh...”

A beautiful sentence that symbolizes what marriage should entail. Maybe this is the reason this is one of most popular readings (after Corinthians of course) at wedding ceremonies. On some level, every couple starting out wants this to materialize. They want to represent the idealistic marriage that many engaged couples (and newlyweds) seem to fantasize about.

In an overly idealistic way, and over-brimming with blissful emotions on my wedding day, I too thought it meant that my husband and I would now be in-sync when it comes to everything, and I mean EVERYTHING! After all, our two heads should think like one, or at least work like one ……..So deciding what color curtains to put up, or how to design our back garden, or what dining set to purchase, or even what kind of dog to get, would be a piece of cake….right? Wrong! Our differing preferences on matters such like these, made them contentious issues. It didn’t take very long for me to realize that fantasy and reality were not on the same page. In fact, our “two become one” ended up being “two stays two” or “you become MY one”! (Now that I think of it, I notice the majority of our disagreements started after we got married and were living together. My observation of that will be the subject of another post!!)

But I guess it’s inevitable that when two very different people, with different sets of ideas, preferences and opinions join together, there are bound to be some challenges. (Perhaps, this too is the reason this reading is an option for the wedding ceremony. To remind couples that they were two before, but are now ONE in the eyes of God, the church and the community. And truly being ONE is the goal to strive for.)

There are some older married couples who seem to embody the two becoming one phrase beautifully. I marvel at their way of working together. Their differences are still there, but they are handled beautifully.  I look toward these couples as role-models, and hope that someday, my husband and I can also learn to settle our differences as members of the same team, as opposed to members of an opposing team. I realize that this will take time. But if marriage is until death do us part (and I’m going to assume that death will occur at old-age), then my husband and I will have plenty of opportunities in the future for our two, to truly become ONE.

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